What do you call a woodpecker without a beak?
"Mary, if you were a four legged animal and you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?"
"I don't know," said Mary, "but whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark."
Why do seals swim in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
When Sammy, the male sheep, lost his mate to old age, the flock asked him to say a few sentimental words.
He took a big breath, opened his mouth, and sang, "There will never ever be another ewe..."