animal jokes

Two hikers are walking up a mountain trail when a huge grizzly bear leaps out in front of them and roars. The first hiker gulps and sweats, frozen in fear; the other keeps his presence of mind and calmly advises, "Don't worry, just lie down and play dead and the bear will leave you alone."

"H-h-h-how do you know?" the first hiker asks.

"I read it in a book on wilderness survival."

"B-b-but what if the bear read the same book?"

One of our clients brought in his massive Doberman pinscher to be spayed. As a veterinary assistant, I escort the patient into the doctor's office.

Before taking this dog's leash, I glimpsed those large teeth of hers and asked the owner, "Is she friendly?"

"Friendly?" said the man. "Friendly? She's had five litters! How much 'friendlier' than that can she get?"

The hardest part of making skimmed milk…

Is throwing the cows across the lake!