After picking up food for his daughter's cat, George spied a new bowl for the pet and grabbed it too.
"Shall I have the cat's name written on the side of the bowl?" offered the store owner.
"No, don't bother," replied George. "He can't read anyway."
A man had just got his car stuck in a during a drive in the country and he needed help getting it out. So he walked until he found a farm and asked the farmer for help. The farmer agrees to help the guy out. So he takes a horse out of the stable and leads him to the car. The farmer then ties a harness around the horse and the other end to the car.
The farmer yells, "Pull, Sandy!"
The horse just stands there.
The farmer yells, "Come on now, pull Twister!"
The horse once again just stands there.
Finally the farmer yells, "Ok dangit, PULL RANGER! You're just standing there!"
Finally the horse springs forward and with all the strength he has he pulls the car out of the ditch and onto the roadside.
The man thanks the farmer many times, but before leaving the farmer why he yelled out names of horses that weren't there.
The farmer just smiles and replies, "Oh, you see Ranger there is completely blind and a lazy horse. He wasn't going to pull if he thought he was the only one trying."
Duck #1: "Quack."
Duck #2: "Quack."
Duck #3: "Quack, Quack."
Duck #1 takes out a gun and shoots Duck #3.
Duck #2: "Why did you shoot him?"
Duck #1: "He knew too much."
John: I worked as a veterinarian tech during the day and went to school at night to earn a degree in literature but no publisher or movie producer takes a second look at my work.
His best friend Frank: In looking over this script I see a distinctive influence in your work that may be a problem. I’ll read it and see if you see what I do… “He was quiet as a mouse; this dogged bear of a detective catty in his ways is stubborn as a mule. He has the memory of an elephant, the tenacity of a mongoose, pound for pound the fight of a rabid badger.”
John: Yes, I see your point; it’s too descriptive, right?