animal jokes

How does a squid go into battle?

Well-armed!

During a county-wide drive to round up all unlicensed dogs, a patrolman signaled a car to pull over to the curb. When the driver asked why he had been stopped, the officer pointed to the big dog sitting on the seat beside him and asked, "Does your dog have a license?"

"No," the man said, "he doesn't need one."

"Yes he does," answered the officer.

"But," said the driver, "I always do all the driving."

One day long ago, a Czechoslovakian came to visit his friend in New York. When asked what he wanted to see the Czechoslovakian replied, "I would like to see one of the zoos in America."

To his delight, the New Yorker took him to the zoo. While they were touring the zoo, and standing in front of the gorilla cage, one of the gorillas busted out of the cage and swallowed the Czech whole.

Shocked, his friend from New York quickly called over the zoo keeper. He quickly explained the situation and ask the zoo keeper what he planned to do. The zoo keeper asked the man, "Okay, which gorilla did it? Was it the male or the female?"

Pointing out the female as the culprit, the zoo keeper then opened up the mouth of the female, looked inside, but found no signs of the Czech.

With which the man from New York shrugged and said, "Guess the Czech is in the male."