animal jokes

Have you heard of the dyslexic cow who attained enlightenment?

It kept on repeating OOOOMMM!

I got a phone call when I was in the pub,

"If you don't get home in ten minutes I'm giving the dog your dinner!"

So I went home.

I love that dog.

1. It's not funny to practice barking at 3 a.m.

2. It's wrong to back Grandma into a corner and guard her.

3. He shouldn't jump on your bed when he's sopping wet.

4. The cats have every right to be in the living room.

5. Barking at guests 10 minutes after they arrive is stupid

6. Getting up does NOT mean we are going for a walk

7. Just because I'm eating, doesn't mean you can.

8. If you look at me with those big soppy eyes, I'm not going to give in and feed you. NOT NOT NOT. Oh, ok, just this once.

9. No, it's my food... Oh alright then, just a small piece.