Ed: How old is your brother?
Ted: He’s a year old.
Ed: Huh! I’ve got a dog a year old and he can walk twice as well as your brother.
Ted: Sure, your dog has twice as many legs.
Tom: Did you ever see the Catskill Mountains?
Jerry: No, but I’ve seen what cats do to mice!
I accidentally used the dog's shampoo this morning...
Now I feel like a good boy.
Why are cats so bad at video games?
Because they can only press paws.