animal jokes

"When I walk into a room, I expect your undivided attention. Don't look over here or over there, look at me. If you say something to me, I just may want to ignore you. That's my prerogative. In addition, when I utter so much as a sound, you are to smile, nod approvingly, and praise me."

Sounds like your boss, right?

Well, you're half right. I'm also your cat!

Driving down the street in Sydney, Australia, I was pulled over and given a ticket for "failing to yield to a leaping marsupial".

And then I knew the fix was in, when on the citation it stated that I was to appear in Kangaroo Court!

There are 10 birds sitting on a fence...

If you shoot one down, how many are left?

None, they all flew away!

Harry arrived early for his date and he waited in the living room while she finished getting ready.
Her pup walked into the room with a ball. He tossed the ball and the pup fetched it.

He repeated the game a few times when the ball bounced too high and went out on to the patio of the 23 story building. The eager pup chased it as it bounced high against the wall and unfortunately went over the wall and down the 23 floors.

Shaken, Harry struggled with how he could possibly explain what happened to his date. When she entered the room, Harry said, "Did you notice how depressed your pup seemed to be today?"