animal jokes

Category: "Animal Jokes"
$50.00 won 26 votes

Two shepherds lean on their crooks at the end of a long day and the first asks the second, "So, how's it going?"

The second one sighed and shook his head, "Not good, I can't pay my bills, my health isn't good, my kids don't respect me, and my wife is leaving me."

The first replied, "Well, don't lose any sheep over it."

26 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "Mounika" |
0 votes

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy finds an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole."

The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hairspray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. Then he puts the worm back into the hole.

The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hairspray, and runs into the house. Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the little boy another five dollars. The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars."

The grandfather replies, "I know. That's from your grandma.

0 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
$15.00 won 21 votes

The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a sheep walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes.

He took the precious book out of the sheep's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"

"Not really," said the sheep. "Your name is written inside the cover." 

21 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "Mounika" |
0 votes

Morris the cat and Duke the dog were talking with each other.
Morris: "What's up Duke? You look like you're in pain."
Duke: "Mmm er mmme errmmm."

Morris: "What'd you say? I can't understand you."

Duke (pointing off to the side): "Uhhhhh mmmm eeeeerrrrruf."

Morris then looks off to the side where he sees his cousin Felix running away with something hanging out of his mouth.

Duke (still pointing): "Thhhhh eeee rrrrrrf uuuhh!"

Morris: "Oh, I get it. Cat got your tongue huh?"

0 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "Alan Valentine" |