animal jokes

Mama rabbit was having a heck of a time keeping her brood under control. Papa rabbit was already at work at his job in the carrot patch.

"Benji, quiet down and eat your breakfast!" mama yelled.

"I don't want to!"

"Lisa! Quit making a mess of your room. You're making me very angry!"

"I don't care!"

"Lonny, quit chasing that hamster! You're going to knock something over!"

"I'll quit when I catch him!"

Just then the phone rang, and an exasperated mama rabbit answered the phone. "How are things going?" asked papa rabbit.

"Not good," replied mama. "I'm having a bad hare day!"

On the first day of Spring Training, a baseball scout brings a race horse with him to add to the starting line-up. The coach asks, "What did you bring that horse here for?"

The scout replies, "Wait until you see him bat."

All the players are laughing, until the horse comes to bat. At this point, the horse grabs the bat, and everyone quiets down. They stare at the horse. The pitcher, just shrugs his shoulders, and throws the ball toward home plate when astonishingly the horse hits the ball deep in the outfield.

The horse just stands there and does not move. The manager then yells at the baseball scout to tell the horse to run to first base. The scout looks back at the manager and yells back, "If he could run, he'd be at Belmont!"