animal jokes

My parrot was looking quite lonely in the cage all by himself. So, I thought it would be a nice gesture on my part to get him a larger cage and introduce him to a new friend to keep him company, a pet duck.

Of course, I had to ask him first, "Polly want a quacker?"

How do you turn an elephant into an insect?

Take away the "eleph."

Two dogs talking...

Fido: I can't go to dog obedience school tonight.

Spot: Why not?

Fido: My master ate my homework.

If cats wore t-shirts, here is what they might say...

"Purrfection cannot be improved."

"If you don't like my attitude, you should see my cat."

"Menopaws, This is the hottest I've been in years."

"Take my advice. I'm not using it."

"I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?"

"Cats know how we feel. They don't care, but they know."

"Dogs have owners. Cats have staff."

"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshiped as gods. They have never forgotten this."