animal jokes

Category: "Animal Jokes"
$50.00 won 23 votes

Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt. The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist watch, and a Pierre Cardin tie gets out and asks the shepherd, "If I can tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?"

The shepherd looks at the young man, then looks at the large flock of grazing sheep and replies, "Okay."

The young man parks the car, connects his laptop to the mobile-fax, enters a NASA Website, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with algorithms and pivot
tables. He then prints out a 150-page report on his high-tech mini-printer, turns to the shepherd and says, ‘'You have exactly 1,586 sheep."

The shepherd cheers, "That's correct, you can have your choicest sheep from the herd."

The young man takes one of the animals which he likes most and cute from the flock and puts it in the back of his Porsche. The shepherd looks at him and asks, "If I guess your profession, will you return my animal to me?"

The young man laughed and answers, "Yes, why not?"

The shepherd says, "You are an auditor."

"How did you know?" asks the young man.

"Very simple," answers the shepherd.

" First, you came here without being wanted. Secondly, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew. Thirdly, you don't understand anything about my business... now can I have my DOG back?"

23 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "Mounika" |
1 votes

Two dogs were walking down the street. The one dog says to the other, "Wait here a minute, I'll be right back."

He walks across the street and sniffs this fire hydrant for a while, then walks back across the street.

The other dog asks, "What was that about?"

The first dog replies, "Just checking my messages."

1 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
1 votes

Buy a dog a toy and the dog will play with it forever...

Buy a cat a toy and the cat will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes.

1 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "wadejagz" |
1 votes

"When I walk into a room, I expect your undivided attention. Don't look over here or over there, look at me. If you say something to me, I just may want to ignore you. That's my prerogative. In addition, when I utter so much as a sound, you are to smile, nod approvingly, and praise me."

Sounds like your boss, right?

Well, you're half right. I'm also your cat!

1 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "Alan Valentine" |