animal jokes

I was driving down the highway when a fox ran in front of me. I slammed on the brakes and stopped in time.

I looked out over the hood of the car and there was the fox, all wide-eyed , looking back at me. It did the sign of the cross and went on its way.

Rhonda’s dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, “I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll mail you a check. Oh, by the way don’t worry about my bulldog. He won’t bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot! I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!”

When the repairman arrived at Wanda’s apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.

The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn’t contain himself any longer and yelled, “Shut up, you stupid ugly bird!”

To which the parrot replied, “Get him, Spike!”