One morning Quackers the duck woke up & had a bad case of chapped lips, so he went to the local drug store & asked the pharmacist for some chap stick.
The pharmacist says, "That will cost you a dollar."
Quackers did't have any money but asked if he could, "Just put it on his bill?"
On the first day of Spring Training, a baseball scout brings a race horse with him to add to the starting line-up. The coach asks, "What did you bring that horse here for?"
The scout replies, "Wait until you see him bat."
All the players are laughing, until the horse comes to bat. At this point, the horse grabs the bat, and everyone quiets down. They stare at the horse. The pitcher, just shrugs his shoulders, and throws the ball toward home plate when astonishingly the horse hits the ball deep in the outfield.
The horse just stands there and does not move. The manager then yells at the baseball scout to tell the horse to run to first base. The scout looks back at the manager and yells back, "If he could run, he'd be at Belmont!"