animal jokes

The sheep were standing around talking to each other and discussing life as usual when suddenly they hear a "mooooooooooo".

They look around and see only sheep. They carry on grazing as before. "Mooooo, moooooo, mmmooo!"

One sheep can hear it all too clearly next to him. He shuffles away a little from his friend, a worried look on his face and then asks, "George, why are you mooing? You’re a sheep. Sheep go 'baa!'"

His friend replies gladly, "I know, I thought I would learn a foreign language!"

An elephant was drinking out of a river one day, when he spotted a turtle asleep on a log. So, he ambled on over and kicked it clear across the river.

"What did you do that for?" asked a passing giraffe.

"Because I recognized it as the same turtle that took a nip out of my trunk 35 years ago."

"Wow, what a memory!" commented the giraffe.

"Yes," said the elephant, "turtle recall".

The water went away and Noah threw open the doors and told the animals to go forth and multiply. As the animals left, two snakes stopped by Noah and said, "We can't do that."

"Do what?" said Noah.

"Multiply," said the snakes.

"Why not?" asked Noah.

"Because we're Adders," said the snakes.

A man had just bought a parrot at an auction after some very spirited bidding.

"I suppose that bird talks?" he said to the auctioneer.

"Talks!" was the reply. "Who do you think was bidding against you?"