animal jokes

A big bullfrog is in the middle of the swamp crying out his lament about being stuck so far from all the action.

Out of nowhere this fairy godmother appears and tells him he will have an encounter with a beautiful young woman in three years. The bullfrog asks this fairy godmother why it will take so long.

"The woman is only in eighth grade now, and will not be dissecting frogs in Biology until her Junior year."

A cow and a pig are watching TV.

Pig: Wanna watch something scary?

Cow: Okay by me.

So the pig changes channel to the Food Network.

The manager of a large city zoo was drafting a letter to order a pair of animals. He sat at his computer and typed the following sentence: "I would like to place an order for two mongooses, to be delivered at your earliest convenience."

He stared at the screen, focusing on that odd word "mongooses." Then he deleted the word and added another, so that the sentence now read: "I would like to place an order for two mongeese, to be delivered at your earliest convenience."

Again he stared at the screen, this time focusing on the new word, which seemed just as odd as the original one. Finally, he deleted the whole sentence and started all over. "Everyone knows no fully stocked zoo should be without a mongoose," he typed. "Please send us two of them."

The Stork family sits down to dinner. The momma stork asks the daddy stork, "So how was your day dear?"

"Well", he replied, "I flew North and South all day, making people happy. And how was your day?"

She answers, "Pretty much the same. I flew East and West making families happy."

They both turn to junior Stork, "And how was your day?", they asked.

Junior Stork tells them, "I had a blast! I flew all over, scaring the heck out of college students!"