A man comes home from work, expecting his dog to welcome him with nothing but excitement.
Dog: "I saw you out there."
Me: "What?"
Dog: "I saw you pet the neighbor's dog."
Me: "I was just..."
Dog: (crying) "Did you rub his belly? DID YOU ASK IF HE WAS A GOOD BOY?!"
At the end of a visit to Amsterdam, a friend borrowed an old suitcase from his hosts to carry home his souvenirs. At the airport, however, a customs officer subjected our friend’s luggage to a thorough search and even sent for a drug-sniffing dog. Sure enough, the dog entered the area, headed straight for the borrowed bag and went into a frenzy. The customs officer now intensified his search, but ultimately he found nothing.
After arriving home, the young man immediately phoned his hosts and told them how puzzled he’d been by the dog’s behavior.
“Perhaps,” the owner of the suitcase said, “it was because that’s the bag our cat usually sleeps in.”
What do you call a cat that gets thrown in the dryer and is never found again???
SOCKS...
Why don't ants get sick?
Because they have their own little anti-bodies.