animal jokes

A man walking along a road in the countryside came across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. He tells the shepherd, "I will bet $100 against one of your sheep that I can tell the exact number in this flock.”

The shepherd thinks it over. It is a big flock, so he takes the bet. "973," says the man. The shepherd is astonished. The man was exactly right. He says, "Okay. I am a man of my word, take an animal.”

The man picks one up and begins to walk away. "Wait!", cries the shepherd. "Let me have a chance to get even. Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation.”

The man agreed. "You are an economist for a government think tank,” says the shepherd.

"Amazing!" responds the man. "You are exactly right! Tell me, how did you deduce that?"

"Well,” says the shepherd, "put down my dog and I will tell you.”

What do you get when cross an elephant and a skunk?

A smell that you will never forget.

What goes dot-dot-croak,dot-dot-croak?

Morse Toad.

A few animals are in a restaurant. The waiter comes over at the end of the night with the check.

The skunk says, "Don't look at me, I haven't got a scent."

The duck says, "Just put it on my bill!"

The cow says, "You'll have to ask one of the udders."

The elephant blurts out, "It's on me, I have enough money in the trunk!"