animal jokes
Favorite this joke Mr. Jameson was backing out of his driveway one morning when he heard a thump; panicked, he stopped the car and rushed out to see what had happened. A small dog was lying dead at the end of the driveway. Mr. Jameson felt terrible; he recognized this as a neighbor's dog and quickly made his way to the house next door.
Upon knocking on the door, Mr. Jameson was greeted by a tall woman. "I'm very sorry," he said. "But when I was backing out of my driveway this morning, I accidentally ran over your dog. I feel terrible and insist on replacing her."
The woman paused for a moment, then said, "Well, I guess you can bring me my slippers and newspaper tomorrow morning."
He tells the clerk that he wants a dog.
The clerk asks, "What kind of demeanor do you want the dog to have?"
The man says, "I'm looking for a guard dog, demeanor the better!"
City boy, visiting his cousin's farm: "Say, why doesn't that cow have horns?"
Country cousin: "There are many reasons why a cow might not have horns. Some grow horns late in life, some have them removed, some might lose them in an accident, and then there are certain breeds who simply never grow horns. This cow doesn't have horns because it's a horse."
A lady staying in a hotel kept a pet parrot who she would often let out of the cage to fly around the room. One day, the lady was about to leave to do some errands, but had forgotten to check whether she had closed the parrot's cage door or not; because she was in a hurry and didn't have time to go back, she quickly wrote up a note, reading, "Please enter with care, Pet flies!" and taped it to the door.
By the end of the day, the cleaning lady went to meet with the hotel manager. "Have you cleaned all of the rooms?" he asked.
"Yes," she replied. "All except for the room of that one tenant with the pet flies."
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