We visited our newly married daughter, who was preparing her first Thanksgiving dinner. I noticed the turkey thawing in the kitchen sink with a dish drainer inverted over the bird. I asked why a drainer covered the turkey.
Our daughter turned to my wife and said, “Mom, you always did it that way.”
“Yes,” my wife replied, “but you don’t have a cat!”
One day I'm walking down a street and as soon as I walk by the pet store, a parrot says to me, "PUNK!"
The next day, the same thing happens. The day after that it happens again. This time I go to the owner of the pet store and told him what's been going on. He says that he'll take care of it.
Next week, I'm walking past the pet store and this time the parrot is wearing a suit. He says nothing to me as I go where I'm heading off to. The next day the same thing happens. The day after that the same thing happens. I walk over to the parrot and say to him, "Why aren't you calling me "PUNK" anymore?
The parrot quickly replies, "I don't talk to punks when I'm wearing nice clothes!"