animal jokes

In an upscale pet supply store, a customer wanted to buy a red sweater for her dog. The clerk suggested that she bring her dog in for a proper fit.

"Oh, no, I can't do that!" the lady said.

"See, the sweater is going to be a surprise!"

I rescued a cow from a slaughterhouse...

... I named them Jake from Steak Farm.

Diner: "Did you hear about that rooster they discovered in Tibet that actually lays eggs??"

Waitress: "No way! A rooster that lays eggs up by Katmandu?"

Diner: "Yep - he now goes by the name of 'Himalayin'..."

My neighbor, she’s single. She’s single, shapely, beautiful, and she lives right across the street.

I watched her as she got home from work this evening. I was surprised when she walked across the street, up my driveway and knocked on my door.

I opened the door, she looked at me and said, ”I just got home, and I have this strong urge to have a good time, get drunk, and have fun tonight. Are you doing anything?”

I quickly replied, “Nope, I’m free!”

“Great” she said. ”Can you watch my dog?”