A dog was so clever that his owner sent him to college. Home for vacation, the dog admitted he had learned neither history nor science, but added proudly, “I did make a good start in foreign languages.”
“Okay,” replied the owner, “say something in a foreign language.”
The dog said, “Meow!”
A gnome is in the garden busily destroying some bushes when a house cat appears.
"What are you?" asks the cat.
"A gnome," comes the reply. "I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, I make annoying music at night to drive them crazy, and I love mischief. And what, may I ask, are you?"
The cat replies, "Um, I guess I'm a gnome."