In the zoo, a giraffe, talking to a buffalo says, “Yeah, I know. They can totally get out but they choose to hang around.”
A seal says a walrus, “That’s right. I’ve seen the big hairy one crawling under the bushes outside the gate.”
A woodchuck says to a prairie dog, “I saw it chew up all the grass. I think we might be related somehow. Maybe cousins.”
Opposite the animals, eating their lunch, one landscaper says to the other, “I wonder if they talk to each other?”
A gorilla walks into a bar and, to the amazement of the bartender, orders a martini. When the bartender gives the gorilla the martini, he is further surprised to see that the ape is holding a $20 bill.
The bartender takes the $20 bill, then he decides to see just how smart the gorilla is, so he hands the gorilla $1 change. The gorilla quietly sips the martini until the bartender breaks the silence.
"We don't get too many apes in here," he says.
The gorilla replies, "At $19 a drink, I'm not surprised."
A friend of mine went on safari in Africa when he comes across an elephant. It's lying on the ground in distress. He investigates and finds a thorn in its foot. He removes it and the elephant happily trots away.
Twenty years later we were in London on business and were watching a circus procession pass by. When along comes an elephant, as it gets level with him, it stops, looks straight at him, reaches out with its trunk and lift him into the air and smashes him into the ground.
It was a different elephant.