A man and his pet giraffe walk into a bar and start drinking. As the night goes on, they get drunk, and the giraffe finally passes out. The man decides to go home.
As he's leaving, the man is approached by the barkeeper who says, "Hey, you're not gonna leave that lying here, are ya?"
"Hmph," says the man. "That's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"
“Nice dog. What’s its name?” I asked my friend’s 10-year-old son.
“Bob,” he said.
“And your cat?”
“How do you keep them straight?”
“Well one is Bob Cat and the other is Bob Barker,” the boy answered.
“Tell him your rabbit’s name,” his father suggested.
The kid smiled and said, “Dennis Hopper.
A woman walked past a pet store and looked in and saw a parrot. The parrot said, “Hey lady, you sure are ugly.”
The lady was so upset that she ran inside and told the owner, “If your parrot says that about me again I will tell everyone I know that you are training your parrots to say mean things.”
The owner replied, “I promise you ma'am, my bird will never say those words to you again.”
The next day the lady came into the pet store and the parrot looked at the lady and said, “Hey lady, you know!”