animal jokes

Category: "Animal Jokes"
2 votes

A groundhog wonders if he’s cursed, having been reincarnated as the same animal, again and again.

Standing on a cliff looming over an unforeseeably deep body of water, he waves goodbye to his friends, warning, “You may not recognize me in the next life.”

He jumps off the edge, plunging down into the watery grave, once again being reborn as the same groundhog.

“Unbelievable!” says one groundhog to another, both watching in dismay, “He’s gone over that waterfall, into the fountain, been sucked up through the circulation tube, and shot back out where he started, I don’t know how many times.”

2 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "JCVD" |
$6.00 won 5 votes
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In the zoo, a giraffe, talking to a buffalo says, “Yeah, I know. They can totally get out but they choose to hang around.”

A seal says a walrus, “That’s right. I’ve seen the big hairy one crawling under the bushes outside the gate.”

A woodchuck says to a prairie dog, “I saw it chew up all the grass. I think we might be related somehow. Maybe cousins.”

Opposite the animals, eating their lunch, one landscaper says to the other, “I wonder if they talk to each other?”

5 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "JCVD" |
3 votes

A gorilla walks into a bar and, to the amazement of the bartender, orders a martini. When the bartender gives the gorilla the martini, he is further surprised to see that the ape is holding a $20 bill.

The bartender takes the $20 bill, then he decides to see just how smart the gorilla is, so he hands the gorilla $1 change. The gorilla quietly sips the martini until the bartender breaks the silence.

"We don't get too many apes in here," he says.

The gorilla replies, "At $19 a drink, I'm not surprised."

3 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "wadejagz" |
$9.00 won 6 votes

Me: I taught my dog to play chess.

Friend: He must be very smart?

Me: Not really, I beat him two games out of three!

6 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "Klein" |