animal jokes
Favorite this joke I was sitting in my backyard, wondering how the birds could make so much noise...
Then it dawned on me, their talk is "cheep!"
There was once a man from the city who was visiting a small farm, and during this visit he saw a farmer feeding pigs in a most extraordinary manner. The farmer would lift a pig up to a nearby apple tree, and the pig would eat the apples off the tree directly. The farmer would move the pig from one apple to another until the pig was satisfied, then he would start again with another pig.
The city man watched this activity for some time with great astonishment. Finally, he could not resist saying to the farmer, "This is the most inefficient method of feeding pigs that I can imagine. Just think of the time that would be saved if you simply shook the apples off the tree and let the pigs eat them from the ground!"
The farmer looked puzzled and replied, "What's time to a pig?"
A vain lion wanted to find out why the other animals were not as beautiful as he.
First, he asked a giraffe. The giraffe did not know. Next, the lion asked a bear. The bear had no answer. Then the lion asked a hippopotamus, and again got no answer.
Finally, the lion met a mouse. He asked the mouse, ”Tell me, why aren't you as big, as strong, and as beautiful as I am?”
The mouse looked up at the lion and said, ”Well, I've been sick.”
A male crab met a female crab at a party and asked her to marry him. She noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways. Wow, she thought, this crab is really special. I can't let him get away. So, they got married immediately.
The next day she noticed her new husband walking sideways like all the other crabs, and got upset.
"What happened?" she asked. "You used to walk straight before we were married."
"Oh, honey," he replied, "I can't drink that much every day."
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