What do you call a bee that comes from America?
A USB!
People often say, “Elephants never forget!”
But exactly what is it that an elephant needs to remember?
A man is walking in the desert with his horse and his dog when the dog says, “I can’t do this. I need water.”
The man says, “I didn’t know dogs could talk!”
The horse says, “Me neither!”
Paddy hates his wife's cat so much he drives it to the next town and dumps it there. When he gets home, the cat was there.
The next day he drives it 50 miles out and leaves it. When he gets home, it's there again. So the next day he drives it to the other side of the county, some 150 miles away, and tries again.
Six hours later he calls his wife and asks, "IS THAT DARN CAT HOME?"
"Yes, why?" asks the wife.
Paddy says, "PUT THE DARN CAT ON THE PHONE, I'M LOST!!!"