A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey.”
The horse says, “You read my mind, buddy.”
Why aren't fish allowed to play in an orchestra?
Because you can tune a piano, but you can't tune-a-fish.
What did the giraffe say to the elephant as they boarded Noah’s ark?
“We’re all in the same boat!”
A tourist was being led through the swamps of Florida.
"Is it true," the tourist asked, "that an alligator won't attack you if you carry a flashlight?"
"That depends," replied the guide, "on how fast you carry the flashlight."