Once, in a bar, one guy leaned over and said to the guy sitting next to him, "I slept with your mom last night."
The whole bar turned to see what would happen next. After a while, the guy laughs and says, "Let's go home, Dad, you are drunk."
At 2:15 AM a man was pulled over by the police for having a burned out tail light. The officer discovered that a dog was sitting behind the steering wheel the car and the man sitting next to him had obviously been drinking.
The officer said, "What is going on here and why is a dog in the driver’s seat?"
The man replied, "I really don't know officer, I guess he took my keys."