bar & drinking jokes
Favorite this joke Two guys sat down for lunch in the office cafeteria. "Hey, whatever happened to Pete in payroll?" one asked.
"He got this harebrained notion he was going to build a new kind of car," his co-worker replied.
"How was he going to do it?"
"He took an engine from a Ford, tires from a Chevy, seats from a Lincoln, hubcaps from Caddy and, well, you get the idea."
"So what did he end up with?"
"Ten years to life."
An inebriated young actor staggered into a large hotel in Hollywood and looked into a large mirror in the lobby.
After a minute or so passed he said, in a loud voice, "Look, they've got a picture of me here, too!"
The landlady of a rooming house that had seen better days was leading a prospective tenant to a third floor room with badly splattered wall paper.
Landlady: “The last man who lived in this room was an inventor---he invented some type of explosive."
Prospective tenant: “Then the spots on the wall was some type of explosive?”
Landlady: “No, the inventor.”
Julius Caesar walks into a bar and says, "Give me a martinus!"
The bartender says, "You mean a martini?"
Caesar replies, "No, I want one, not two."
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