bar & drinking jokes

Two emos walk in to a bar.

One says, "We should hang out sometime!"

The other says, "Sure, what tree?"

A cowboy walked into a bar and ordered a whiskey. When the bartender delivered the drink, the cowboy asked, "Where is everybody?"

The bartender replied, "They've gone to the hanging."

"Hanging? Who are they hanging?"

"Brown Paper Pete," the bartender replied.

"What kind of a name is that?" the cowboy asked.

"Well," said the bartender, "he wears a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper trousers and brown paper shoes."

"Weird guy," said the cowboy. "What are they hanging him for?"

"Rustling," said the bartender.

One day in Oz, Dorothy, The Tin Man, The Cowardly Lion, and The Scarecrow were playing high stakes Texas Hold'Em Poker.

Everyone put in their ante except for Dorothy. The Tin Man asked her, "We all put in our ante except for you. Where's your ante?

Dorothy replied, "I thought I told you guys before. My auntie is in Kansas!"