bar & drinking jokes

One day in Oz, Dorothy, The Tin Man, The Cowardly Lion, and The Scarecrow were playing high stakes Texas Hold'Em Poker.

Everyone put in their ante except for Dorothy. The Tin Man asked her, "We all put in our ante except for you. Where's your ante?

Dorothy replied, "I thought I told you guys before. My auntie is in Kansas!"

Three guys walk into a bar...

You would've thought the third one would've ducked.

I've been having problems with annoying phone calls lately...

The most common one seems to be the nightly, "You said you'd be home from the bar 2 hours ago!" call.

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head, sits down and orders a drink.

Bartender serves the pirate his drink, and asks about the paper towel.

The pirate smiles and says, "That be the bounty on me head!"