bar & drinking jokes

Three guys walk into a bar...

You would've thought the third one would've ducked.

I've been having problems with annoying phone calls lately...

The most common one seems to be the nightly, "You said you'd be home from the bar 2 hours ago!" call.

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head, sits down and orders a drink.

Bartender serves the pirate his drink, and asks about the paper towel.

The pirate smiles and says, "That be the bounty on me head!"

An ant walks into a bar with his good friend Mister No, who is not an ant. The bartender says, "I'm sorry. We only serve ants here."

The ant says, "But this is my good friend Mister No."

The bartender says, "Sorry, but I don't take No for an ant, sir."