Joe and Mark, two small-town merchants were visiting New York City for the first time to attend a conference. There was a large party thrown, with lots of food and refreshments. At the end of the party, they both went outside.
Joe crossed the street, while Mark wandered into a subway entrance. When Joe came back, he noticed Mark emerging from the subway stairs.
"Where did you go?" Joe asked enthusiastically.
"I don't know," gushed Mark, "but you should see the train set that guy has in his basement!"
Father Murphy walked into a pub and said to the first man he met, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
The man said, "I do Father."
The priest said, "Leave this pub right now!" He then approached a second man. "Do you want to got to heaven?"
"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply. "Then leave now as well," said the priest.
Father Murphy then walked up to O'Toole and asked, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
O'Toole replied: "No, I don't Father." The priest looked him right in the eye and said, "You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"
O'Toole smiled, "Oh, when I die. Yes Father. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."