bar & drinking jokes

A Roman walks up to a bar, holds up two fingers and says, "Five beers please."

Two men walk into a bar. The first guy says he wants some H2O.

The second guy says he wants some H2O too.

The second guy died.

Husband comes home drunk and breaks some crockery, vomits, and falls down on the floor. Wife pulls him up and cleans everything. Next day when he gets up, he expects her to be really angry with him. He prays that they would not have a fight. He finds a note near the table:

“Honey... your favorite breakfast is ready on the table. I had to leave early to buy groceries. I’ll come running back to you soon my love. I love you.”

Still surprised, he asks his son, "What happened last night?"

Son replies, “When mom pulled you to bed and tried removing your boots and shirt, you were dead drunk and you said… 'HEY LADY! LEAVE ME ALONE! I’M MARRIED!'”