bar & drinking jokes

What is brown and sticky?

A stick.

A horse goes into a bar and the barman says how can I help, the horse says a bottle of beer please and the barman says "why the long face" ? ;-)

The other day i was in the pub when the waitress approaches me to take my order,
I noticed she had two black eyes

she asks 'what would you like to order?'

I replied with what i wanted to eat, making sure to speak very clearly and loudly because it was obvious she wasn't a great listener!

A visitor comes into a Maryborough pub with a tame crocodile at his heels and ordered a drink. The locals looked at the crocodile and it suddenly went up to someone's hat, which was sitting on a chair, and chewed it to shreds.
The hat's owner shouted at the visitor, "Hey look at what your crocodile has done to my hat."
The visitor replied, "That's too bad!" The hat owner got angry and said, "I don't like your attitude!"
The visitor replied, "It's not my (h)at (h)e chewed - it's your hat he chewed!"