bar & drinking jokes

Two drunks are walking along. One drunk says to the other, "What a beautiful night, look at the moon."

The other drunk stops and looks at his drunken friend, "You are wrong. That's not the moon, that's the sun."

Both started arguing for a while when they came upon another drunk walking, so they stopped him. "Sir, could you please help settle our argument? Tell us what that thing is up in the sky that's shining. Is it the moon or the sun?"

The third drunk looked at the sky and then looked at them and said, "Sorry, I don't live around here."

Approaching the woman at a single’s bar, the young man said, “Hi cookie. How about a date?”
“Forget it,” she said. “I never go out with a perfect stranger.”
“We are both in luck,” he said. I’m far from perfect.”

A policeman finds someone crawling on all fours in the middle of the street. The cop approaches him and asks him, "What on earth do you think you’re doing?" The man on the floor replies, “I’ve lost it." The policeman asks him curiously, "lost what?" The man on the floor answers, "well (hiccup) my balance sir."

A giraffe walks into a bar and the bartender asks, “Do you want a longneck?"
The giraffe replied, “Do I have a choice?"