bar & drinking jokes

A man goes into a bar and orders double bourbon. He takes a sip of the drink and says to the bartender: "I shouldn’t be drinking this with what I’ve got." The bartender says: "What have you got".

The man replies: "30 cents".

This guy runs into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of water. The bartender ignores him, and instead, pulls out a pistol, stating that they don't serve water. The guy, then says thanks a lot, and then leaves. The customers, baffled and confused, then asked the bartender why the guy had told him thanks. The bartender then replied, " Easy, he had the hiccups".

There were 2 men at a bar, the first man said to the other one, "I know a bridge where you can jump off and return safely." The other man who was shocked asked the man to show it to him. After they finished their drinks the second man asked him to demonstrate, so the first man jumped off the bridge and flew back. The second man dumbfounded decided why not give it a try. He jumped off and died. When the first man went back to the bar the bartender said, "Superman you are so cruel when you are drunk!"

A small piece of rope climbed onto a barstool. The bartender said he did not serve rope in his bar, and tossed it out to the street. The rope asked a passerby to tie him into a knot, and then ruffle both ends. The rope went back into the bar, the bartender looked down at him and said, "Hey aren’t you that same piece of rope I just tossed out?" the rope responded: no sir “I am a frayed knot.”