bar & drinking jokes

A man entered a library and asked, "can I have a pint of largar and a packet of crisp?" The librarian said " I’m sorry but this is a library " Then the man WHISPERED "!Oh, sorry can I have a pint of largar and a packet of crisp?"

A mushroom walks into a bar. He sees a pretty lady sitting all by herself so he walks up to her and takes a seat. He offers to buy her a drink. "No way," she replies, "you are a mushroom."

"Come on now," he says, "I’m FUNGI (fun-guy)"

A bull walks into a bar and says give me a margarita. The bartender gives it to him for free because he is dead scared of mad bulls. The bull give him one good look and replies" don't worry, I pay cash when I am not mad."

A server walks over to a table and gets ready to deliver the check to a guy. The guy asks the server do you take checks and the server said, I? no sir I am sorry. The guy replies neither do I