bar & drinking jokes

A guy walks into a bar, sits at the counter and said "Drinks, everybody on me, even you bar tender" on my tab. Every one got a drink and thanked the man. After a while he man said "Drinks, everybody on me, even you bar tender. Put it on my tab." Everybody got their drinks and thanked the man. The bar tender pulled the man to the side and asked him "You know this is going to be a lot of money, can you pay for this? The man said "No". The bar tender took the man in the back, beat him up, and threw him out the back door. The man brushed himself off, and went back into the bar. He sat down and said "Drinks, everybody, on me. Except for you bartender, you don't know how to act when you get drunk

A man entered a library and asked, "can I have a pint of largar and a packet of crisp?" The librarian said " I’m sorry but this is a library " Then the man WHISPERED "!Oh, sorry can I have a pint of largar and a packet of crisp?"

A mushroom walks into a bar. He sees a pretty lady sitting all by herself so he walks up to her and takes a seat. He offers to buy her a drink. "No way," she replies, "you are a mushroom."

"Come on now," he says, "I’m FUNGI (fun-guy)"

A bull walks into a bar and says give me a margarita. The bartender gives it to him for free because he is dead scared of mad bulls. The bull give him one good look and replies" don't worry, I pay cash when I am not mad."