bar & drinking jokes

An antartian walks into a bar down south around Christmastime; and there’s a little nativity scene on the bar. And the guy says, “That’s a nice nativity scene. But how come the three wise men are wearing firemen’s hats?” And the bartender says, “Well, it says right there in the Bible…. The three wise men came from a fire.”

A guy walks into a bar with a chunk of asphalt under his arm and says,
“I’d like a beer please, and one for the road.”

Why do black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.

A woman was sleeping in her bed when her husband crashing through the front door at 3 am waked her up. He staggered and tried to get up the stairs, " what are you doing" she shouted, the husband replies " I’m trying to get a gallon of beer up the stairs" "leave it down there" she bellowed "I cant" he replied " I’ve drunk it".