bar & drinking jokes

A guy walks into a bar with a chunk of asphalt under his arm.

He says to the bartender, “I’d like a beer please, and one for the road.”

A Skeleton walks into a bar and says,
“Give me a beer and give me a mop.”

A young guy at a bar: “Hey, bartender. Pour me a cold one.”
“Hey, go on, kid, you wanna get me in trouble?”
“Maybe later. Right now I just wanna a beer.”

An antartian walks into a bar down south around Christmastime; and there’s a little nativity scene on the bar. And the guy says, “That’s a nice nativity scene. But how come the three wise men are wearing firemen’s hats?” And the bartender says, “Well, it says right there in the Bible…. The three wise men came from a fire.”