bar & drinking jokes

I see said the blind man to his deaf wife, over a disconnected telephone in a dark room, looking for a black cat that wasn't even there.

A guy walks into a bar with a chunk of asphalt under his arm.

He says to the bartender, “I’d like a beer please, and one for the road.”

A Skeleton walks into a bar and says,
“Give me a beer and give me a mop.”

A young guy at a bar: “Hey, bartender. Pour me a cold one.”
“Hey, go on, kid, you wanna get me in trouble?”
“Maybe later. Right now I just wanna a beer.”