bar & drinking jokes

The Lone Ranger rides into town during the hottest part of summer. He stops outside a saloon and tells Tonto to run in circles around silver, waving his poncho to keep a nice breeze on the horse while he goes in for a drink.

A couple of minutes later, a man dressed in black swaggers into the bar and says, "You the Lone Ranger?" "Yes I am" the Lone Ranger replies. "Well", says the man in black, "Did ya know ya left your injun runnin?"

A guy is at a bar, staring at his drink. Then a big truck driver comes up, takes the drink and chugs it down. The poor man starts crying. The trucker says, "I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand seeing a man crying." ... "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I'm late to work, so my boss fires me. When I leave, I discover my car was stolen. I get a cab to return home and realize I left my wallet in the cab. I go home and find my wife sleeping with the gardener. I leave, come to this bar and just as I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

Two men are sitting at a bar when one of the men stops drinking and says "MY WIFE IS AN ABSOLUTE ANGEL".
The other man turns to him an says " YOUR LUCKY MINE'S STILL ALIVE"

Do you know why women in Milwaukee, Wisconsin won't drink beer on the beach?

They don't want to get sand in their Schlitz.