A charity worker knocked on Mrs Smiths door and said " Hello, I'm collecting for a home for drunkards. Can you donate anything?".

"Yes" replied Mrs Smith "If you come back after closing time you can have my husband".

The Lone Ranger rides into town during the hottest part of summer. He stops outside a saloon and tells Tonto to run in circles around silver, waving his poncho to keep a nice breeze on the horse while he goes in for a drink.

A couple of minutes later, a man dressed in black swaggers into the bar and says, "You the Lone Ranger?" "Yes I am" the Lone Ranger replies. "Well", says the man in black, "Did ya know ya left your injun runnin?"