bar & drinking jokes

A guy meets an attractive woman at a bar. After a few drinks he invites her over to his place. She answers by saying it depends on what they'll be riding in on the way over there.

He says, "I’ll give you a few hints. The chauffeur drives, the vehicle costs over $300 thousand dollars, and I’d like to surprise you with the rest of details should you decide to accept my invitation."

She happily accepted and he led her outside. She reacts, "Hey wait a minute! we’re at the bus stop!"

"Surprise!"

A good old boy at the bar is always telling life stories. The time he spent five years here and ten years there. He’s been to many remote places like the Amazon living with natives and such. He’s been telling stories like this for years and the more he drinks the better the stories become!

I was curious as to how much time this amazing man has spent living a life others would only dream of. After adding it up, I have to admit he sure looks good for a man who has to be at least 130 years old.