bar & drinking jokes

A good old boy at the bar is always telling life stories. The time he spent five years here and ten years there. He’s been to many remote places like the Amazon living with natives and such. He’s been telling stories like this for years and the more he drinks the better the stories become!

I was curious as to how much time this amazing man has spent living a life others would only dream of. After adding it up, I have to admit he sure looks good for a man who has to be at least 130 years old.

While traveling north to downtown I noticed police were stopping cars going south for sobriety checks.

At the end of the night, after one too many drinks, I headed home going south and took the bus which the police waved right through.

The next morning my neighbor called me and asked, "What is that BUS doing in your driveway?"

A man left the bar late one night after one too many drinks. He decided to walk home taking a shortcut through the grave yard. He fell into an open grave but failed to escape after many attempts.

What the man didn’t see was another guy from the bar who had previously fallen in and was curled up asleep at the other end of the grave. The guy woke up and said, “You’ll never make it out of here.”

Low and behold he made it out in one leap!

A penguin walks into a bar. He goes to the counter and asks the bartender, "Have you seen my brother?"

Bartender replies, "I don't know, what does he look like?"