bar & drinking jokes
Favorite this joke The tourist, after stepping off the train in Kansas City and desperately holding on to his hat, "Wow, does the wind always blow this way out here?"
"Nah," said the driver solemnly, "it blows this way for six months of the year, and then it turns round and blows the other direction."
A man walked into a bar on a slow night and sat down. After a few minutes, the bartender asked him if he wanted a drink. He replied, "No thanks. I don't drink. I tried it once but I didn't like it."
So the bartender said, "Well, would you like a cigarette?"
But the man said, "No thanks. I don't smoke. I tried it once but I didn't like it."
The bartender asked him if he'd like to play a game of pool, and again the man said, "No thanks. I don't like pool. I tried it once but I didn't like it. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be here at all, but I'm waiting for my son."
The bartender said, "Let me guess, your only son?"
Artist: "This is my very latest painting. I call it 'Builders at Work'... it's very realistic."
Friend: "But they really aren't at work."
Artist: "Of course, that's the realism."
A gold-digger had died and all her worldly possessions, including a parrot, were being auctioned off.
"What am I offered for this beautiful bird?"
"One bean," bid a bystander.
"Two bucks," roared another.
"Make it five, Daddy," croaked the parrot, "and I'll give you a kiss."
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