bar & drinking jokes
Favorite this joke Theater patron 1: "There was a fire in the dressing room of the star backstage. The firemen were there for six hours."
Theater patron 2: "Am I understanding you correctly that it took six hours to put out a fire in the dressing room?"
Theater patron 1: "Oh no, it took only one hour to put out the fire. It took another five hours to put out the fireman."
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, and so on...
After the seventh order, the bartender stops and says, “You fellas ought to know your limits!”
Two fellows stopped into an English pub for a drink. They called the proprietor over and asked him to settle an argument.
"Are there two pints in a quart or four?" asked one.
"There be two pints in a quart," confirmed the proprietor.
They moved back along the bar and soon the barmaid asked for their order.
"Two pints please, miss, and the bartender offered to buy them for us."
The barmaid doubted that her boss would be so generous, so one of the fellows called out to the proprietor at the other end of the bar, "You did say two pints, didn't you?"
"That's right," he called back, "two pints!"
Pete: "What's that you have in your buttonhole?"
Donald: "That's a chrysanthemum."
Pete: "It looks like a rose to me!"
Donald: "Your wrong, its a chrysanthemum."
Pete: "Then spell it."
Donald: "K-r-i-s.....your right, it is a rose."
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