bar & drinking jokes

Category: "Bar & Drinking Jokes"
$25.00 won 8 votes

Two drunks were babbling about when they were born as they leaned heavily against the bar.

"You know," said one, "when I was born I weighed a pound and a half, and that's a fact."

"You don't say," said the other. "And did you live?"

"Did I live?" exclaimed the first. "Heck man, you ought to see me now."

8 votes

Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "Benjones" |
$12.00 won 8 votes

Uncle Jack drove up to the drug store in high distress. He stamped into the store, talking to himself.

"Are you the fresh young fellow that sold me this this stuff yesterday and told me it was toothpaste?" Uncle Jack inquired of the clerk.

"Yes sir," replied the clerk.

"Well, this morning I tried for half and hour, and I'll be darned if it would make my teeth stick in!"

8 votes

Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "maryjones" |
$5.00 won 4 votes

Descartes walked into a bar and ordered a beer.

“Want another?” asked the bartender.

“I think not,” Descartes replied. Then he disappeared.

4 votes

Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "Ryan Faidley" |
5 votes

A couple of guys were discussing the latest play showing in the theater.

"I saw the first act, but not the second."

"Why not?"

"I couldn't wait that long. It said on the program that the second act was two years later."

5 votes

posted by "Pshark1998" |