bar & drinking jokes

A man weaving up to a local bar orders a whiskey. The bartender Joe, noticing the condition of Tony, says, "I can't serve you Tony, you have had too much to drink."

Tony walks around the block and comes in the side door and orders a whiskey. Joe again says, "You have had too much already. I can't serve you."

Tony walks the block again and comes in the back door and orders a whiskey and before Joe has a chance to refuse him the drink, Tony says, "Hey Joe! How many places do you work at?"

Two emos walk in to a bar.

One says, "We should hang out sometime!"

The other says, "Sure, what tree?"

A cowboy walked into a bar and ordered a whiskey. When the bartender delivered the drink, the cowboy asked, "Where is everybody?"

The bartender replied, "They've gone to the hanging."

"Hanging? Who are they hanging?"

"Brown Paper Pete," the bartender replied.

"What kind of a name is that?" the cowboy asked.

"Well," said the bartender, "he wears a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper trousers and brown paper shoes."

"Weird guy," said the cowboy. "What are they hanging him for?"

"Rustling," said the bartender.