The cowboy ordered a steak at a restaurant and it was served rare, very rare. He looked at it and ask that it be returned to the kitchen and cooked.
The chef came out to inform him that the steak was cooked.
"Cooked? You call this cooked? I've seen cows hurt worse than this and they get well."
Railroad agent: "Here's another farmer who is suing us on account of his cows."
Supervisor: "One of our trains has killed them, I suppose?"
Agent: "No, he claims our trains go by so slow that the passengers lean out the window and milk them when they go by."
The tourist, after stepping off the train in Kansas City and desperately holding on to his hat, "Wow, does the wind always blow this way out here?"
"Nah," said the driver solemnly, "it blows this way for six months of the year, and then it turns round and blows the other direction."
A man walked into a bar on a slow night and sat down. After a few minutes, the bartender asked him if he wanted a drink. He replied, "No thanks. I don't drink. I tried it once but I didn't like it."
So the bartender said, "Well, would you like a cigarette?"
But the man said, "No thanks. I don't smoke. I tried it once but I didn't like it."
The bartender asked him if he'd like to play a game of pool, and again the man said, "No thanks. I don't like pool. I tried it once but I didn't like it. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be here at all, but I'm waiting for my son."
The bartender said, "Let me guess, your only son?"