bar & drinking jokes
Favorite this joke My friends and I were doing Tequila shooters last night and decided to take a cab to the Standup Comedy Club for open mic night.
My friends encouraged me to get up on the stage and give it a try so I did. The people were in hysterics, everyone in the place was cracking up making sure to point me out to their friends.
When I got up this morning things were a bit hazy but I do remember how I brought the house down last night at the comedy club. A sense of pride was coming over me until my friend just called and told me we had reservations for the comedy club tonight.
I told him we went there last night and he laughed. He said they were booked last night so all of us went over to that new Karaoke place across town.
Customer: Barkeep, what’s the special today?
Barkeep: It’s an original drink we call the Zomazoid. It’s made with 2 shots each of 100 proof alcohols. It contains Vodka, Tennessee Whiskey, Tequila, and Scotch, topped with Irish Cream and Banana slices.
Customer: What do the customers that order this drink say about it?
Barkeep: No one really knows, we can’t understand what they’re saying.
One Saturday evening a man walked into a bar and said, "Excuse me, I would like a pint of beer." The bartender served the man his drink and said, "That will be four dollars." The customer pulled out a twenty-dollar bill and handed it to the bartender.
"Sorry, sir," the bartender said, "but I can't accept that."
So the man pulls out a ten-dollar bill, and the bartender rejects his money again. "What's going on here?" the puzzled man asked the barkeep.
Pointing to a neon sign behind the bar, the bartender explained, "This is a Singles Bar."
4th Place
won
$12.00
Took my first shot today! So excited, and my next one is in 2 weeks.
It was a hard choice with so many options.
I chose the tequila one.
7th Place
won
$8.00
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