bar & drinking jokes

Category: "Bar & Drinking Jokes"
2 votes

My friends and I were doing Tequila shooters last night and decided to take a cab to the Standup Comedy Club for open mic night.

My friends encouraged me to get up on the stage and give it a try so I did. The people were in hysterics, everyone in the place was cracking up making sure to point me out to their friends.

When I got up this morning things were a bit hazy but I do remember how I brought the house down last night at the comedy club. A sense of pride was coming over me until my friend just called and told me we had reservations for the comedy club tonight.

I told him we went there last night and he laughed. He said they were booked last night so all of us went over to that new Karaoke place across town.

2 votes

posted by "Marty" |
1 votes

Customer: Barkeep, what’s the special today?

Barkeep: It’s an original drink we call the Zomazoid. It’s made with 2 shots each of 100 proof alcohols. It contains Vodka, Tennessee Whiskey, Tequila, and Scotch, topped with Irish Cream and Banana slices.

Customer: What do the customers that order this drink say about it?

Barkeep: No one really knows, we can’t understand what they’re saying.

1 votes

posted by "Marty" |
$12.00 won 1 votes

One Saturday evening a man walked into a bar and said, "Excuse me, I would like a pint of beer." The bartender served the man his drink and said, "That will be four dollars." The customer pulled out a twenty-dollar bill and handed it to the bartender.

"Sorry, sir," the bartender said, "but I can't accept that."

So the man pulls out a ten-dollar bill, and the bartender rejects his money again. "What's going on here?" the puzzled man asked the barkeep.

Pointing to a neon sign behind the bar, the bartender explained, "This is a Singles Bar."

1 votes

Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "merk" |
$8.00 won 2 votes

Took my first shot today! So excited, and my next one is in 2 weeks.

It was a hard choice with so many options.

I chose the tequila one.

2 votes

Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "Chloe2015" |