Two friends met after not seeing each other for a couple of months.
Bill: "Jack, you look like you not doing well?"
Jack (swiping the sweat off his brow): "I ain't been ill. It's the work doing me in. Working from seven in the morning till six at night. Only one hour for a break. Think of it. Very taxing on ones body."
Bill: "Wow, and how long has this been going on? How long you been working for that company?"
Jack: "Oh, I haven't been there yet. I begin tomorrow," he added gloomily.
A man walks into the grocery store and ask to speak to the manager about buying all the rotten eggs.
"What do you want with all the rotten eggs?" the manager asks. "Are you going to see the new comedian at the theater tonight?"
"Sh-sh-sh!" hissed the buyer nervously. "I am the new comedian."
The traveling salesman was passing through a small western town selling an elixir which he declared: "will make men live to a great age!"
"Look at me," he shouted. "Hale and hearty, I'm over 300 years old."
"Is he really as old as that?" a bystander ask the youthful assistant.
"I can't say," replied the assistant. "I've only worked for him for just over a 100 years."
Bob sent Alice the following email: "Dear Alice, I must be getting so forgetful. I proposed to you last night , but have forgotten whether you said yes or no."
Alice replied: "Dear Bob. It is so good to hear from you. I know I said no to someone last night, but I had forgotten just who it was."