bar & drinking jokes

Category: "Bar & Drinking Jokes"
9 votes

Two guys sat down for lunch in the office cafeteria. "Hey, whatever happened to Pete in payroll?" one asked.

"He got this harebrained notion he was going to build a new kind of car," his co-worker replied.

"How was he going to do it?"

"He took an engine from a Ford, tires from a Chevy, seats from a Lincoln, hubcaps from Caddy and, well, you get the idea."

"So what did he end up with?"

"Ten years to life."

9 votes

posted by "maryjones" |
$25.00 won 10 votes

An inebriated young actor staggered into a large hotel in Hollywood and looked into a large mirror in the lobby.

After a minute or so passed he said, in a loud voice, "Look, they've got a picture of me here, too!"

10 votes

Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "Benjones" |
$12.00 won 10 votes

The landlady of a rooming house that had seen better days was leading a prospective tenant to a third floor room with badly splattered wall paper.

Landlady: “The last man who lived in this room was an inventor---he invented some type of explosive."

Prospective tenant: “Then the spots on the wall was some type of explosive?”

Landlady: “No, the inventor.”

10 votes

Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "Egbert" |
5 votes

Julius Caesar walks into a bar and says, "Give me a martinus!"

The bartender says, "You mean a martini?"

Caesar replies, "No, I want one, not two."

5 votes

posted by "Retired Terp" |