Two men (a Russian and an American) were talking about their countries' accomplishments.
The Russian says, "We were the first to go into Space."
The American replies, "Well, we were the first to land on the moon."
Sick of their arrogance, another man comes over and says, "Oh yeah! Well, I'm gonna be the first one on the Sun!"
The Russian and American both laugh saying, "You can't go to the Sun. It's too hot. You'll burn up"
The man confidently replies, "I'm not an idiot. I'll just go at night!"
A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.
"Now, class. Observe closely the worms," said the professor putting a
worm first into the water.
The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be. The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It
writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.
"Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" the professor
Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms."
There were three astronauts, a Russian, an American, and a Not-So-Bright American.
The Russian says we were the first in space. The American says we were the first on the Moon. The Not-So-Bright American says I will be the first to land on the sun.
The other two look at her and say, "The sun! Wont you burn up?"
She says, "Well duh! We are going to land on it at night."