- No flight ever leaves on time unless you are running late and need the delay to make the flight.
- If you are running late for a flight, it will depart from the farthest gate in the terminal.
- If you arrive very early for a flight, it inevitably will be delayed.
- Flights never leave from Gate #1 at any terminal in the world.
- If you must work on your flight, you will experience turbulence just as soon as you touch pen to paper.
- Only passengers seated in window seats ever have to get up to go to the washroom.
- The crying baby on board your flight is always seated next to you.
- The best looking woman on your flight is never seated next to you.
- The less carry-on luggage space available on an aircraft, the more carry-on luggage passengers will bring aboard
Why did the germ cross the microscope?
To get to the other slide.
"I read somewhere that they're going to launch some weasels up in a rocket."
"So where are they headed?"
"Otter space, of course!"
One day the esophagus asked the saliva what its name was.
"I'm too embarrassed to say," said the saliva.
"Come on," said the esophagus.
"Fine. My name's Amy, Amylase."