Recently, I called to make reservations on a small charter plane that departs from Teterboro airport in New Jersey.
I knew that I would be flying in a very small plane, so I was not surprised when the clerk said, "The plane is very full with baggage and passengers." Then she asked, "How much do you weigh, sir?"
Not thinking clearly I answered, "With or without clothes?"
"Well," said the clerk, "how do you intend to travel?"
On a plane, a passenger noticed that the very elderly lady across the aisle was not wearing her shoes.
"Where are your shoes?" she inquired of the woman.
The lady replied, "A nice young lady told me I had to take them off for some kind of inspection. I waited but she never told me I could put them back on."
While waiting in line at a busy airport check-in counter, I noticed a set of rambunctious little boys in front of me. As the line inched along, their mother tried in vain to get them to calm down.
Finally she reached the counter, where the ticket agent asked her, "Have any of the items you plan to take with you on this flight been out of your immediate control since your arrival at the airport?"
The young mother replied honestly, "The luggage, no; the children, yes."
Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?"
"The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," he explained. "It took us awhile to find a new pilot."