airplane jokes

About 90 fifth-graders piled into the airliner I was flying, on their way home from a school trip. Once we were in the air, and the crew began serving drinks, I could hear them pleading with the children to settle down and let the other passengers get some sleep.

No amount of reasoning seemed to help, until I thought of the solution that actually worked. I picked up the PA mike in the cockpit and announced, "Children, this is the captain speaking. Don't make me stop this airplane and come back there!"

Owner of a aircraft manufacturing company stopped by the aircraft testing airfield to check on the newest test pilot.

He asked the supervisor how the new guy was doing. "Terrible! He has already crashed four planes this week!"

Owner replied, "How is this possible? Where did he work before coming here?"

Supervisor said, "He designed Windows software for Microsoft."

Why do they have frosted glass on airplane toilet windows?

Who's going to look in at thirty thousand feet!

The first-time flier was very nervous as he buckled his seat belt before takeoff. He turned to the woman in the next seat and asked, "About how often do jetliners like this crash?"

She thought a moment and replied, "Usually, just once."