7 ways to annoy a flight attendant...
1- Bring your pet on the plane and then act like an animal.
2- Shove your bag into the first bin you see and then walk to your seat in the back of the plane.
3- Think that because you’re on a plane you’re of duty as a parent.
4- Drag on an oversize bag that's too heavy to lift by your self.
5- Gripe that you haven't been seated in the roomy exit row seat.
6- Act like you don't know the meaning of the words "under the seat in front of you".
7- Whine about the high cost of flying...
It was mealtime during an airline flight. 'Would you like dinner?' the
flight attendant asked John, seated in front. 'What are my choices?'
'Yes or no,' she replied.
A small plane was carrying three passengers over a mountain range -- an old man, his grandson, and an eminent scientist. Suddenly, the pilot burst into the cabin saying, "The engines have all failed! Grab a parachute and jump from the plane!"
With this, the pilot opened the cabin door and leapt out with his parachute. To their dismay, the 3 passengers discovered only 2 parachutes were left in the cabin! The Eminent Scientist took a pack, saying, "I'm sorry you two, but I won a Nobel Prize, I am the head of several intellectual Think Tanks -- honestly, I'm worth more to society than either of you."
The Eminent Scientist leapt from the plane. The Old Man turned to his grandson and said, "My dear boy, take the last parachute. I've had a good life. Yours has just begun."
"Don't worry, Grandpa," said the young boy, "that guy just jumped out the plane with my backpack."
A lady sitting in first class saw the cockpit door open, she was incredulous to see that the pilot was reading, very concerned she asked a flight attendant, “Miss, why is the pilot reading? Isn’t he supposed to be flying? “The woman fainted when the flight attendant said, "oh well, he’s just studying for his pilot license."