airplane jokes
Favorite this joke When you're on an airplane and you meet someone whose first name is JACK whatever you do DON'T GREET HIM.
You might get in trouble with the authorities.
A hypothetical situation where 20 CEO's board an airplane and are told that the flight that they are about to take is the first-ever to feature Pilot less technology: It is an un-crewed aircraft.
Each one of the CEO's is then told, privately, that their company's software is Aircraft's automatic pilot system. Nineteen of the CEO's promptly leave the aircraft, each offering a different type of excuse.
One CEO alone remains on board the jet, seeming very calm indeed, asked why he is so confident in this first un-crewed flight, he replies "If it is the same software that runs my company's IT systems, this plane won't even take off."
This is Confidence!
A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favour?"
"Of course. What may I do for you?"
"Well, I bought an expensive electronic hair dryer that is well over the customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there anyway you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?"
"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie."
"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."
When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her. The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"
"From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare."
The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"
"I have a marvelous little instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused."
Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father. Next!"
103 passengers and only 40 meals got loaded on a INDIA to US flight.
The Airline had messed up, and the crew was in a fix. However, one smart flight attendant has an idea. About 30 minutes into the flight she nervously announces, "I don't know how this happened but we have 103 passengers and only 40 dinners.".
When the passengers muttering had died down she continued, "Anyone who is kind enough to give up his/ her meal so that someone else can eat, will receive free unlimited liquor during the entire duration of the flight.".
Her next announcement came an hour and a half later, "if anyone wants to change his/her mind we still have 40 dinners available!".
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